Freak Of The Week: December 21, 2008 – January 3, 2009

It seems almost fitting that the last Freak of the Week should go to my long suffering wife. It must be tough to be married to a twisted individual such as myself. It helps that she is pretty damned twisted herself. So on to my ode to my not so blushing bride.

For Mrs. Evyl

As I look on my work with a keen sense of mirth

I call you to gaze on what I have unleashed on the earth.

I see you gaze on the pics and stories standing so near

And look upon your face and I see your sneer.

And I know that I have hit the mark by chance or by luck

When I hear you exclaim, ‘You sick twisted fuck.’

Thanks for putting up with a freak.

And thanks for being my freak for 759 weeks.

Freak Of The Week: December 14 – 20, 2008

Wayne John with style and flair captured the coveted Freak of the Week title with this explanation of the perfect gift to give Santa to ensure maximum presents.

A bondage horse, a full array of dildos, oils and lubes, 9 fine maidens, 8 filthy whores, 7 slutty tramps, 6 bitches boinking, 5 Golden Rains! 4 titties touching, 3 french hens, 2 aspirin, and a penis in case his don’t work.

Santa just has to be pleased with that. Now on to my ode to the Freak.

For Wayne John

An anti-social social network guru

Try humming that three times fast on a kazoo.

His avatars a green goggled cat.

I wonder if he has made it into a homemade tat

But where would you put a tat like that.

I would not put it on a shaven head

A dog might get pissed and chew it dead.

Perhaps he could put it on his wang

Perhaps that would be just the thang.

That might be like a pleasant dream

To have your cat lick up some cream.

Congrats Wayne John and as the Duke said, “If you’ve got them by the balls their hearts and minds will follow.” And your entry really had it by the balls.

Freak Of The Week: December 7-13, 2008

All hail the victorious freak, this week’s freak came up with just the right amount of freakish festive fun for the festive caption. And now on to my little ode.

For Heather (In Haiku)

I’ve sat and thought hard

I just don’t know what to say.

So how about lunch.

Congratulations Heather and I hope that everyone will come and visit you and congratulate you on your second win.

Freak Of The Week: November 30 – December 6, 2008

This week’s Freak is a two-time winner. With style, wit, and freakish advertising talent her take on a cereal marketed to viewers of internet porn has reigned supreme. Snatch-Tastic’s: Now with stray marshmallow pubes, sounds like just the kind of cereal that one handed eaters can enjoy anytime. Now on to my little ode to Teeni’s Greatness.

For Teeni (Or Her Meez)

Teeni, is it really you that visits and makes such comments bold

And takes the crown with words of freakish gold?

Or is it really your Meez with her impish nature shown

So seemingly innocent and demure or is her cover blown?

Congratulations Teeni on a job well done. (Or your Meez.)