Freak Of The Week: July 28-August 3, 2008

This week’s winner was an overwhelming choice by the readers. The outcry was monumental and could not be ignored. Congratulations go to Ozymandaiz for his wonderful response to the question, ‘Why do you deserve to be Freak of the Week?’ Here is his great entry:

So it is asked of me why I should be the freak of the week
And so my reply to the question why is not for the meek
If you didn’t know it I am a poet though this in its self is not strange
Things I have written have well been smitten with that of the deranged
Yes, I’ve written about sex but one would expect that from any ‘ol perv
But how about a creep having sex with sheep
Oh, I have the nerve
So I shall continue in the venue and list my qualifications
I’ve written about shit
I mean literally “shit” in various scatifications
Shit that is funny
Shit that is runny, the kind that slides down your leg
Shit made of air, shit in my hair
Shit in the shape of an egg
I have written about my trouser trout and the odd paces it has been
Holes in trees and hives of bees and places so slimy and green
I have written of the anal love I received from alien beings
How I wish I were dreaming of the sasquatch reaming in a deep forest rape scene
I’ve written odes to snot and various rot that shows up in places not good
About poodles shaved and the things depraved I have done with various food
Of where I have cum and what I wiped it on, oh the places I masturbate
Of showers of gold and armpit mold and watching horses ejaculate
So yes I am strange and quite deranged and professional help I should seek
But in the mean time be ever so kind and elect me as freak of the week

Now that is freaky. What to do as an ode to the Wizard of Freakishness, Ozy? How about a little ditty sung to the tune of the Wizard of Oz?

We’re Off To See The Freakshow

We’re off to see the Freakshow

The Freakshow known as the Oz

We hear that he is a freak of a freak

If ever a freak there was.

If ever, oh ever, a freak there was

Then Oz is one because

Because, because, because, because, because

Because of the freaky shit he does

We’re off to see the Freakshow

The Freakshow known as the Oz.

Now head on over and visit the Freakshow known as the Oz. He’s also rico suave but without Gerardo’s greasy hair.

Freak Of The Week: July 21 – 27, 2008

This weeks Freak is the political pundit with a conservative view of the twisted political scene. His entries always make the judges round table discussion and this week he was able to come up with the winner. So this week my hat goes off to The Grit. Congrats Freak. Now on to my little ode to The Grit.

The Ballad of The Grit

Come and listen to a story of a man named The Grit

And if ya don’t like it I don’t give a shit.

Then one day he was looking at some long and hairy pubes

My bet is that he was grabbin’ for some lube.

(KY that is. Non-sticky. Warming gel.)

Well the first thing you know The Grits a Winning Freak

Jerked down his pants and down the block he streaked.

Cops pulled up and threw him in a van

Now he’s sittin’ in the county can.

(Jail that is. Three squares. Stained cot.)

Well now it’s time to say good-bye to a man they call The Grit.

Sorry that my contest got him into so much shit.

You’re all invited back again next week to this locality

To have a heapin’ helpin’ of our freakiousity.

(Freaks of the Week, that’s what we call ‘em now.

Nice Folks. Y’all come back now. Ya hear.)

Congrats again Grit on a job well done. Now go ahead all you freaks and friends, go on over and congratulate this weeks winning freak on a job well done. And just so you know it, you are all winning freaks in my eyes. Thanks once again for all of your great entries and good luck on next weeks contest.

The Ballad of the Grit is for parody purposes. No Neighbors were shocked in the production of this ballad.

Freak of The Week: July 14 – 20, 2008

This weeks Freak is the wonder of the comment box and one of the best purveyors of sick and twisted e-mails that I have ever had the pleasure to have known. I am proud to give him the limelight this week that he so richly deserves. Congratulations Anonypop, you are truly a Freak for all seasons. Now here my little ode to your brilliance.

For Anonypop

No one can send an e-mail quite like you

From Angel’s with Droopy Boobs to Jesus Pissing On His crew.

But you might have missed your calling as a Country Music Star

Traveling town to town at honkey tonks and bars

I am glad to know you and count you as a Friend and freak,

I have a simple piece of advice for I know of what I speak.

If Maureen is like my wife and you see the glitter in her eye,

Step quietly my friend or you will surely die.

Congratulations again Anonypop. You are truly a king among freaks. I encourage everyone to go and visit Anonymum and wish her words of encouragement. And click the pic to see it do it’s thing.