Congratulations go this week to Anonymum. This week with a crack of the wit and a crack of the whip, she captured the illustrious title of Freak of the Week. Now on to the ode.
For Anonymum
From the Land Down Under
She makes us all wonder
Just what the fuck will next she say
Whatever it is, it will be done just her way.
Will it be sweet or will it be witty?
Will she play nice or give someone the shitty?
Whatever it is it will be spot on for sure
That is her charm and that’s her allure.
Once again the Grit has pulled it off. With his usual style and flair, he has captured the title of Freak of the Week. Congrats Grit!!! You are truly one of a kind and we are all thankful for that. Enough of the bs on to the ode.
For The Grit
Hello, world, hear the song that Grit’s singin’
C’mon get freaky!
A whole lot of freakin’ is what Grit’s bringin’
He’ll make you freaky!
Grit had a dream, he’d go travelin’ in an old pick-up truck,
He’d spread a little freakin’ then he’d keep movin’ on. If he can’t find a little freakin’ of what we’re a speakin’ It don’t matter Because, He gets a happy feelin’ when he’s pullin’ his dong.
Trav’lin’ along there’s a song that Grit’s singin’
C’mon get freaky!
A Whole lot of freakin’ is what Grit’s bringin’
He’ll make you freaky!
He’ll make you freaky!
He’ll make you freaky!
Congrats Grit!!!
This week finds the lovely and talented JavaQueen as the reigning winner and Freak of the Week. With a swift and bitingly witty advertising slogan for a new dating site she wins the admiration of the Freak Finding Panel of Judges. Now on with my ode.
For JavaQueen:
Straight from the heart and straight from the hip.
You don’t take no shit and you don’t take no lip.
I like it the most when you pull of the gloves
I even can ahh on your posts of puppy love.
Long has he laboured and many were the defeats but finally at long last Michael has proved his freakish worth and captioned the winning entries. Congratulations Michael and no other ode would do than resurrecting a Fuck You Haiku in your honor.
For Michael
Mr. Sensitive
Has all the ladies swooning.
It’s Smoke and Mirrors.
Save The DanceTeam Captain. Save The World!!!
This weeks winner was able to fuck up a meme with style and grace. MJ from Note to Self is the deserving Freak of the Week. Congrats MJ and here is a little token of my esteem.
For MJ
It was back in June when you caught my eye
Posting of an event that’s need none could deny.
I’ve heard it said that One should never suffer a fool gladly
But this event, I looked forward to quite madly.
The first of July will always hold my attention at sway
For from you I learned that this date is Slap a Moron Day.
Since then I have learned that from small packages come great things.
And cleavage shall always be king!!!
(Actually it probably should be queen but that don’t rhyme.)
Congrat’s MJ, you are truly a Freak among freaks and one of the best bloggers on the web and a damn fine person. Your man in blue is indeed a very lucky man.
And for anyone that has never visited MJ, go and give Note to Self a read. And go and read her archives from June and July of 2008 to check out her posts on Slap a Moron Day. It is some of the funniest stuff that I have ever seen.
It seems almost fitting that the last Freak of the Week should go to my long suffering wife. It must be tough to be married to a twisted individual such as myself. It helps that she is pretty damned twisted herself. So on to my ode to my not so blushing bride.
For Mrs. Evyl
As I look on my work with a keen sense of mirth
I call you to gaze on what I have unleashed on the earth.
I see you gaze on the pics and stories standing so near
And look upon your face and I see your sneer.
And I know that I have hit the mark by chance or by luck
When I hear you exclaim, ‘You sick twisted fuck.’
Thanks for putting up with a freak.
And thanks for being my freak for 759 weeks.
Wayne John with style and flair captured the coveted Freak of the Week title with this explanation of the perfect gift to give Santa to ensure maximum presents.
A bondage horse, a full array of dildos, oils and lubes, 9 fine maidens, 8 filthy whores, 7 slutty tramps, 6 bitches boinking, 5 Golden Rains! 4 titties touching, 3 french hens, 2 aspirin, and a penis in case his don’t work.
Santa just has to be pleased with that. Now on to my ode to the Freak.
For Wayne John
An anti-social social network guru
Try humming that three times fast on a kazoo.
His avatars a green goggled cat.
I wonder if he has made it into a homemade tat
But where would you put a tat like that.
I would not put it on a shaven head
A dog might get pissed and chew it dead.
Perhaps he could put it on his wang
Perhaps that would be just the thang.
That might be like a pleasant dream
To have your cat lick up some cream.
Congrats Wayne John and as the Duke said, “If you’ve got them by the balls their hearts and minds will follow.” And your entry really had it by the balls.
All hail the victorious freak, this week’s freak came up with just the right amount of freakish festive fun for the festive caption. And now on to my little ode.
For Heather (In Haiku)
I’ve sat and thought hard
I just don’t know what to say.
So how about lunch.
Congratulations Heather and I hope that everyone will come and visit you and congratulate you on your second win.
This week’s Freak is a two-time winner. With style, wit, and freakish advertising talent her take on a cereal marketed to viewers of internet porn has reigned supreme. Snatch-Tastic’s: Now with stray marshmallow pubes, sounds like just the kind of cereal that one handed eaters can enjoy anytime. Now on to my little ode to Teeni’s Greatness.
For Teeni (Or Her Meez)
Teeni, is it really you that visits and makes such comments bold
And takes the crown with words of freakish gold?
Or is it really your Meez with her impish nature shown
So seemingly innocent and demure or is her cover blown?
Congratulations Teeni on a job well done. (Or your Meez.)
This week in a hard fought battle Dok Holocaust rose to victory and claimed victory for this weeks Freak of the Week. To the victor goes the spoils so on to my ode to Dok Holocaust’s freakishness.
For Dok
Zombies tremble in freakish delight
From Dok Holocaust’s mere sight.
This ode is short but what the hell
Everyone knows that Slack Prevails!!!
Congrats Dok on a well deserved victory.
